1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
kinkstertime

perpetualperseveration:

yiffprincess:

dajo42:

nonbinerdy:

dajo42:

cuddlesforeveryone:

dajo42:

“eat” soup is inaccurate. “drink” soup is inaccurate. suggest new word: flumzo

i flumzo the soup

what other foods does this apply to

stew, smoothie, very thick milkshake, cereal that has been left out for a little too long, raw eggs

But how do you conjugate it? Are you flumzoing or flumzing? Yesterday, you flumzoed or flumzed the soup?

i will flumzo the curry

i flumzoed this jam

i am flumzoing a glass of overly pulpy orange juice

take a fucking flumzo, babes

If I see anyone reblog this post I’m unfollowing you jsyk

kinkstertime Source: dajo42
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey
brin-bellway:
“ sinesalvatorem:
“ pinkplasticpen:
“
this pun is entirely worth breaking my tumblr silence for
FROMIDABLE
”
As an ex-French-student, I approve
”
My personal favourite bilingual packaging (so far) is a brand of toilet paper that, in its...

brin-bellway:

sinesalvatorem:

pinkplasticpen:

 

this pun is entirely worth breaking my tumblr silence for

FROMIDABLE

As an ex-French-student, I approve

My personal favourite bilingual packaging (so far) is a brand of toilet paper that, in its description, emphasises how it’s made from recycled wood.

English: Tree-sponsible!

French: Respons-arbre!

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey Source: na-vidya-na-avidya
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey

rainbowbarnacle:

fawnmother:

the-cuddly-punk:

neenya:

doubleohmogar:

franerys:

katiebpeters:

chloereneeeee:

How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.

How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”

u wanna fucking go

here for this fight

image

How do you know a soprano is at your door?

She can’t find the key and doesn’t know where to come in

Originally posted by penultimxte

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey Source: chloereneeeee I heard that last one as a viola joke in orchestra
notyourmothersspellbook

charminglyantiquated:

Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide

See more of my comics here, and my art here!

Whole bunch of lore/things I couldn’t fit/everything I love about the overlap in superstition and General College Weirdness below the cut-

Keep reading

notyourmothersspellbook Source: charminglyantiquated this is cool also speaking of I should read Tam Lin they did it at my school a few years back
apocalyptic-mailman

leftist-daily-reminders:

pisshets:

Punk=Anarchism
Goth=Leninism
Folk=Wobblies
Naruto soundtrack=Fully Automated Luxury Communism
Folk-Punk=Post-Left Anarchism
New Wave=Left Communism
Vaporwave=nondenominational leftism
Hip-hop=Ultraleftism
Pop=Posada
Indie-pop=Social Democracy
Alternative=Hoxha
Video game scores=Juche
Blues=Insurrectionism
Dubstep=Illegalism
Country=Nihilist Communism
Outlaw Country=Egoism
Trap=Post-Scarcity Anarchism
Baroque=Democratic Confederalism
Swing=Radical Democracy
Electro-Swing=Syndicalism
Witchhouse=Marxism
Noise=Maoism
Metal=Autonomism
Pop-Punk=Liberalism
Jazz=Situationism
Halloween Music=Mutualism
Post-Punk=Market Socialism

Prog Rock=Council Communism
Psychedelic Rock=Parecon
Rusted Root Blues=Eco-Socialism

apocalyptic-mailman Source: pisshets where is musical theatre?
apocalyptic-mailman

dollsahoy:

queeranarchism:

itsfridaybutimstillaro:

tracyalexander:

asciiheart:

amal-wa-ahlam:

yourownpetard:

proudblackconservative:

asciiheart:

The nuclear family is probably the greatest enabler of child abuse, ever.

Putting two people in complete control of another person (who is particularly vulnerable and has few legal rights) and then having no oversight for the whole arrangement is the absolute worst idea.

Families are garbage.

Hahaha wtf

I wouldn’t even know where to start with this. omg.

OP, what would you propose as an alternative to families?

communal child raising

less isolated familial structures in general

children being made aware of how they should and shouldn’t be treated

Some form of child protection services that don’t just believe the parents and assume a child is lying when they report abuse

more legal and counselling services made available to children

I don’t get people that are like “lol, what? that’s so weird, lets laugh at the very notion that traditional families are abusive”.

communal child raising is the traditional family. 70-100 years ago 4 generations lived together in the same house, having 4 grandparents, 6 aunts and 15 cousins around every day was normal.

Things that should be mentioned:

- These communities are not necessarily connected by an biological ties. In a lot of these multigenerational ‘families’, including people in the family who are not relatives or married into the family is totally normal. This has always created a lot more space to support people without families, support people who do now want to partner up and to create communities in which couples who can not have children (like some queer couples but not all & other couples too) can be a part of child raising. 

- Having a lot more young people around often means young people learn from each other. In many cultures young people form a non-hierarchial group that learns together and can do a great deal without adult supervision. 

The nuclear family doesn’t just facilitate abuse, it facilitates hierarchy. It’s a training school for obedience to authority. 

Now, which system would push such a training school strongly so it could get docile obedient citizens? Which system whould push the nuclear family. 

I’m not saying it’s capitalism but it’s capitalism. 

And then there’s the fact that the 2 parent, nuclear family can be most easily pushed into the pattern where one adult works an extremely exhausting job many hours a day that leaves that adult hardly capable of doing anything else, while the other adult takes on all the other things that adult would otherwise have done: care for children, clean the living space, prepare food, prepare clean clothing, etc. for free. What we know as traditional gender roles. 

This way capitalism gets one intensely loyal worker who feels ‘responsible’ for ‘supporting a family’ while all the work to keep that worker going is done for free by an unpaid worker in the home. 

And, you know, communities need a lot less stuff. A community of 50 can do just fine with one or two hammers. 25 nuclear families need 25 hammers. The nuclear family demands a huge amount of commodity purchasing. 

(hooboy that last point)

apocalyptic-mailman Source: asciiheart interesting underplays individual desire for privacy/independence imho but definitely interesting
slytherin--king

Anonymous asked:

Au where James and lily live and Sirius didn't go to prison and Remus wasn't left alone and Peter didn't betray everyone and eVEYONE IS ALiVE AND HApPy AND ThEY ALL HELP RAiSe HARRY ANd HARRy ALWAYs FEELS LOVED ANd EVERYThInG IS OkAY

jiilys answered:

  • Baby Harry would get piggy backs from a huge black dog at the park and someone would be like “your dog is so well trained” and Lily would probably laugh for ten years and then tell James later
  • Peter would buy all these baby blankets for Harry all the time until the others had to sit him down and stage an intervention like. Peter. We are LITERALLY giving blankets away on the street because we have SO MANY. Please STOP buying them honestly.
  • Lily reading to Harry a lot and Harry would have favourite books and James would buy him the magic ones with moving pictures and he would giggle like a baby and Lily would take 8203945809 photos and James would stick all of them on the fridge
  • When Harry’s two they’d have a another daughter called Eleanor and Remus would paint her room green while Peter hung the curtains and Sirius chain-smoked outside pretending he was providing ‘moral support’ when James and Lily arrived
  • Ellie would LOVE chewing on peoples fingers but her favourites would be Sirius’s and James would say it was: ‘probably all the nicotine’ and ‘I swear Black if my daughter starts smoking I will watch as Lily kills you’
  • Harry would be really confused like who is she???? How long is she staying???? I mean I like her and all but????? She is pointless and can’t even eat mashed banana that’s pathetic honestly
  • Harry soon realises that normally what Ellie wants she gets so he would go up to everyone and be all “Ellie told me she wanted to go the park later and get ice cream” and “Ellie said that she wants Peter to show her how to reach the cookie jar on the top shelf” or maybe just “Ellie wants some mashed banana”
  • Harry would watch muggle cartoons with Remus and Sirius like “what the legitimate FUCK is happening Remus how is this girl lost she’s meant to be an EXPLORER and she has a MAP in her BAG and WHY does that monkey have boots on IT IS A MONKEY”
  • “Sirius you are majorly over thinking this stop DRAFTING A LETTER TO THE NETWORK”
  • Harry would start muggle primary school around the time that Lily and James have another kid called Rose and Harry would go around being all ‘I have TWO whole sisters. TWO. That is ONE PLUS ONE” because Peter had taught him a little math before he arrived and Harry would be very proud of it.
  • Rose aka the loudest baby of all baby’s honestly she screamed once and literally a window broke and then Ellie tried to sit in all the pieces and that’s how the lot of them ended up in St Mungo’s and it was only ten .a.m.
  • Harry would do his homework while Sirius sat on the kitchen bench and told him to ‘take a stand against the man’ and ‘fuck school work’ but then Lily walks in and ‘no lily I wasn’t sitting on the bench I’m helping harry with his homework like a GOOD GODFATHER okay MERLIN I am NOT a bad INFLUENCE that’s INSANE’
  • Group photos around Christmas where all three kids are dressed as elves, James and Sirius had a fight over being Santa so they both had to be reindeer as a compromise and Remus is Santa and Peter is the ‘reindeer handler’ (just an excuse to put both Sirius & James on leashes) and Lily is obviously Mrs Claus and they send this photo to everyone including McGonagall.
  • Ellie and Harry would have ‘secret meetings’ but its really just them sitting under a fort whispering to each other about what’s for dinner while James and Sirius try to eavesdrop
  • Rose would have SUPER red hair like Lily but Ellie and Harry would both have black hair like James and Ellie would be all ‘what if she feels left out’ and so in the middle of the night James walks in bleary eyed to find his two eldest children colouring in his youngest daughters hair black with a marker.
  • Harry being confused at why he has so many baby pictures in a fawn suit like Sirius why are you laughing seriously answer the question who put me in this suit
  • Being around other wizards like: “you don’t have a werewolf uncle???? Or another uncle who shows you where the cookie jar is when Mum hides it????? You must have another uncle who has a motorcycle and lets your sisters braid his hair. You DON’T??? but then who comes over all the time for DINNER????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S JUST YOUR PARENTS WHAT HOW
  • Harry loves his sisters a lot like he would do colouring with them and watch TV with them and read their lame books and he has such respect for his badass little sisters like Ellie helps Sirius work on his motorbike because she loves mechanics and Rose doesn’t have time for bullshit because she (quote) ‘just wants to have naps and colour’ like aren’t his sisters the best ever
  • Don’t tell them he said that they would make fun of him forever you CAN’T tell them
  • James would pick him up from school like the cool young dad he is and sometimes Sirius would pull up on his motorcycle like “yeah Rose stuffed crayons down this kids mouth at day care because he called her hair string cheese and so your parents are currently confounding the teachers so me and Uncle Peter are going to teach you how to play poker while they’re out”
  • Ellie and Rose being best sisters since forever they fucking OWN their dad like Ellie could say “Daddy please fill the bathtub with chocolate milk” and James would be half way through before Lily comes home and is all the fuck are you doing you’re the PARENT
  • When asked to draw his family at nine Harry draws one tall black haired guy and a red headed lady holding hands, a long haired guy in a motorcycle, another guy with a shirt that says ‘I’VE GOT A FURRY LITTLE PROBLEM’ and a different guy eating cheese with two little girls eating lollipops sitting on the motorcycle bars
  • Sirius makes Remus a shirt that says ‘I’VE GOT A FURRY LITTLE PROBLEM’ and Remus attempts to strangle him with it at dinner
  • James and Lily having to have a talk with Rose because ‘babe you CAN’T keep making things catch on fire at school, it’s freaking out your muggle teachers and Peter says that you laughing really hard after you do it makes it hard to believe it’s really an accident’
  • Family game night. Just imagine it. They don’t talk about it anymore but just know that the door came off the fridge, Lily threatened to ‘strangle Sirius with his own hair’ if he didn’t stop cheating, James & Ellie tried to carry out the threat, Remus accidentally broke Peter’s thumb and Harry had a heated argument with Rose over the rules for ‘Go Fish’
  • Harry would play soccer for ‘muggle exposure’ in the Quidditch off season and the lot of them all sitting on the side lines cheering for him as Lily is held back by James because she doesn’t agree with the referees call and Sirius, Ellie and Rose eat all the oranges meant for half time.
  • Parents James and Lily Potter who make breakfast and spill milk everywhere and are always counting children to make sure no one’s missing because once they left Ellie in the washing basket and James would hold a kid with one arm and eat something with the other and Rose would like how her Mummy’s hair is the same as hers and how Daddy tells really good jokes
  • Ellie would get Peter to tell stories of what they did at Hogwarts and she finds it so cool and her parents are awesome and Remus is so smart and her Dad laughs at all her mums jokes and Sirius let her go on his flying bike but only if she promised not to tell Mum and Peter likes hearing about all her school stuff and Harry is lame but he’s also sort of wonderful and Rose is annoying but she’s also kind of lovely
  • Harry on the train to Hogwarts and Remus & James made a sign that says ‘WE’LL MISS YOU’ and Rose would demand he send back sweets and Ellie would try to sneak on the train and would have to be carried off by Sirius while Lily and Peter both cry and Harry waves at them out the window because he loves them so much and can’t even imagine what how life would be like without the lot of them
  • But of course, we know.

jiilys:

@snapslikethis sad headcannon challenge round 2 bc of the end 

slytherin--king Source: jiilys